Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Apdet Sepintas Lalu ... the worst is yet to come?

my prayer have not been answered just yet. Only He knows y ... sighhh.
on other note, after a few slow yet cynical request by one of the boss, yesterday evening i finally cut my hair that has not been trimmed nor cut for few months. thot if my prayer granted by Him i can continue keeping the hair till it grow like a true rockers might be. what to do? anyway .. will keep it again from now on. for how long only He would answer. along with moustache and beard that i shaved clean.
later on at 3 am, the deja-vu that i have sexperiencing since fasting month come to reality. all my intuition come true. sighh .. automatically the last part of the 'immortal' song by evanescene played again and again in my head ... "i have been alone all along ..". and with no one to talk to, only to Him i can call for strength and guidance. an irony isn't it? you are supposed to leave your loved one after so many incidents but yet you still trying to hold on to it believing people will change. and out of sudden the loved one simply made the choice to leave without any hesitation whatsoever. so swift is the decision it come as a surprise. but the deja-vu that i have kinda minimise the effect. thus managed to save the tears for another days .. perhaps.
with the above, i am almost on my last quarter way of being totally alone. this last part will be tricky. by end of the year perhaps it will be over. or maybe by february next year. or perhaps much sooner. depends on what He has written for me.
the worst is yet to come? bring it on. like it or not i will have to face them. just treat it as the repercussion for my sins. mebbe this is the reason my prayer not been answered. cause i am a sinner?
:)
.
"hold the tears. keep smiling. hide the trouble. make them worry not of anything."

2 Comments:

Blogger inah said...

hold the tears..keep smiling..hide the trouble..

i wish i can be tat strong =(

8:18 AM  
Blogger MZ said...

once u r a dad or a mom .. that sexactly what u must do. no other option. :) protect the kids from all the trouble. then alang2 dah gitu .. extend it to others as well. others don't have to shoulder a sinner's sins.

8:22 AM  

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