Ntah La ...

last saturday i went back to my hometown in Malacca. i decided to bring all of my kids and my wife also. we departed after dawn. i wasn't getting any sleep that nite. the traffic along the way especially in the highway was ok and we travel at ease.

we arrived around 11 am. my sister and my dad already busy around the house. the new house almost completed now except for soem part of the ceiling, flooring tiles and electricity installment at the 'kitchen side'. the main house was completed a while back.

yes ... it was the fruit season. rambutan, pulasan, manggis and durian. all awaiting our homecomings. my wife was especially delighted to see the red pulasan. my kids was busying themselves around the house. i myself went to the back of the house ... the old rubber trees was call cleared without a traces. now the land is poised for re-plant of new rubber trees.

i was in a relatively cheer up mood according to my wife. i was singing one part of the lyric " .. dia bukan milik ku" from God's know what song is that. i myself didn't particularly aware just where did i picked up the song. but somehow one simpathetized sould gave me the song 'Hapus Aku' by Nidji.

Kutuliskan kesedihan

Semua tak bisa kau ungkapkan

Dan kita kan bicara dengan hatiku
Buang semua puisi

Antara kita berdua

Kau bunuh dia sesuatu

Yang kusebut itu cinta

Chorus:Yakinkan aku Tuhan

Dia bukan milikku

Biarkan waktu waktu

Hapus aku…

Sadarkan aku Tuhan

Dia bukan milikku

Biarkan waktu waktu

Hapus aku…

I realized that God do show me some lights. now it all up to me what to do. but still am not sure what should i do. to be filial and take revenge or just be myself and walk away and keep my soul to its current un-pure state and not to blacken it more ...

" out of sufferings, emerged a stronger soul" as some would saying. but there is also a likelihood that a baddest and meaner soul will emerge isn't it? ;))