Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Farewell. No. 2.

this is supposed to be the first farewell of the year. i did it couple of days after new year eve. the lady is supposed to get marry. they are supposed to get enggaged on the raya aidil adha. but the fate decided otherwise.

i have decided to focus more on myself this year. thus, tired of being there for her, listening to her problems and troubles after another, i have decided to cut her loose.

politely i told her that is over between her and i. she can put all her efforts in her relationship with the guy. nevermind about me. i will be able to collect the shattered hope and dreams and move on eventually.

somehow, she still wanna me around. ignoring her calls and sms didn't work as she came over to my house and waiting outside till i came out. finally i gave up. we still on.

but the next night she again lied to me. the day after i caught her and confronted her. again i insist on separating. but this devil pleaded and beg. refused to let me go. promised not to lie again and wanna change. again i gave in.

again i caught her lied to me. this time i decided this has been too far. i just can't have it anymore. and this time i will not say those goodbye or nice words. it is time to be nasty. be physical if need be. i will do everything to keep this devil away.

i wish i don't have to utter any horrible words. "gi mampus" and "sundal" are amongst the words hovering in my head. hopefully i can stay mum and maintain my silence and ignoring her.

like what i told one of my friend back then, 'how i was happy alone focusing on myself, before she came to my life'. i hope i would be able to do just that again ...

.

bought a dvd box for complete first season of "two and an half men" series. it was as tickle as i watch them on tv last time. other tv series such as 'angel' and bla bla bla can wait ... now i need the laughter.

this entry has been heavily censored and filtered. otherwise it gonna be 18sx or 18sg. **ck!

7 Comments:

Blogger Farmie said...

Pakcik, if people dont change, that means you have to maaa. Why wait while you can start it now. Chances is given upon opportunity taken, but if it is not appreciated why waste your time lingering n meddling. Mungkin hamba juga salah kerana itu allah sentiasa memberi dugaan bagi kita memperbetulkan dan menelaah kesilapan yg kita ulangkali lakukan. Sejarah mengajar kita, kehidupan memantapkan ketaqwaan terhadapnya... Hamba juga dalam pencarian jalan yang benar. Maaf jika hamba tersalah kata.

1:17 PM  
Blogger MZ said...

yup .. time to change. got to accelerate it. and hope luck will be on my side this year ..

1:27 PM  
Blogger inah said...

speechless dari budak x mandi semalam..larikssss

9:14 AM  
Blogger zura lias said...

errk...saya budak naif..x paham masalah2 orang tua nie..hikss...

10:35 AM  
Blogger sayda said...

she's been spoiled by you. and you've been too kind for her.

pakcik, enough is enough.
be strong!

12:54 PM  
Blogger MZ said...

speechless ekk inah? :p tu baru sikit

juera .. gi main2 jauh. lap eskrim kat mulut ngan idung tu :p

sayda. thanks. and am being strong ni to push her away and away ...

1:59 PM  
Blogger A Z R A said...

speechless gakkkkk.......

12:34 AM  

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