Almost A Tragedy.

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after months of contemplating, i finally moved my butt around 5:00 pm on last Friday to go to Jeram Toi located along the new hilll scenary road of Kuala Klawang - Jelebu. it take slightly less than 30 minutes of casual drive from my in-law's home in Lenggeng. a long with me were my three sons and two nieces.

there were two man made ponds. the first is the shallow pond for kids complete with two slides. the other pond located next to it on higher ground is for adult. must be deeper and not sure how deep. it has been raining for days and the water a bit coloured.

my kids and my nieces straith jumped into the ponds. i have to monitor them all especially my yougest sons. he is a bit phobia to the water and just playing by the banks on his own. the rest happily swimming and playing the water in the ponds.

i noted there were steady heavy water gushing and falling down along the waterfalls. must be due to the rain. the current was a bit strong oso. there were few area that could be tidy up and improved as they would impose a danger and hazard especially to smaller kids. thus i can't go anywhere but continue to watch over them.

about half an hour later i told them to get out of the water and we head to the larger and deeper pond. it is deep allrite. my sons and my nieces even afraid to go into the pond. and i told them do not go into the pool. as i looking around for a good and safe place to put my shirt and porch and i turned my back to the pond suddenly there were a big sound of people jumped into the water. when i looked it was my second son. he was struggling in the water. a few seconds passed. i told my 11 year old niece to jump and get my son out of the water. but he seemed scared and did not move a muscles. another few seconds passed away. as my son started to submerged under the water then i have no choice but to jump and save him.

i managed to grab my son and pulled him and put his head above the water. but to my horror my feet cant even touched the bottom of the pond without being submerged and am struggling to float with my both hands holding my sons. am fighting the strong current as well. i lost all the rationale. i forgot how to float. i can't even swim to the pond side where they have built a concrete stairs into the pond as i have to go against the strong current. tried few times but failed. each time am trying to stay afloat again and again. my visibility also was not good as i forgot to take off my glasses before i jump.

then luckily my feet managed to step on one big stone at the bottom of the pond. i managed to put my head out of the water and holding my son at the same time. i tried to stay calm for a moment and at the same time looking around. that valuable few seconds i managed to think that it wud be better that i let my son and myself to be drifted by the current to the end side of the pond wall and climb to safety. managed to do just that.

my son looked a bit traumatised. but he didnt cry tho he looked a bit shocked by the ordeal. he just keep his silence.

later on i jumped into the water on my own trying to measure the deep of the pond. it must be at least 7 or 8 feet for the deepest floor. there were some part that less deep but the current will drift you towards the deepest area which is the other end of the pond. i managed to swim against the current. but for a few tries only. it was difficult. and i lost my breathe.

when i jumped to save my son i didnt take off my porch. all things inside it all wet. they were :

a. handphone. terus mati henpon tu.
b. wallet
c. car key
d. lighter
e. cigarrette, i threw them away.
e. money.

the car remote alarm was wet and i cant get into the car without causing the alarm goes off. managed to disconnect the alarm sounder. but i dont know how to reset the alarm and to ignite the car. fortunately later on the guy who parked his car next to mine know how to and taught me how to do it. then off we drove home.

the car's alarm remote can work perfectly the next day. so with the lighter. but the handphone is not. it was badly soaked in the water. i just have to write it off. surprising my wallet and it contents suffered a very little and minimal damaged.

it was almost a tragedy. wud it deter me from going there again? nope. i will be better prepared next time. :D

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New Diet ... Part II

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the earlier entry on my new diet is for information in nature. it is basically a new diet that i am trying. i believe and truly hope it will suit me fine.

todays we heard a lot of things. we were told a lot of things. we read a lot of things. at the end of the day it is all up to us to absorb and to act according to what we believe and what we could based on our will.

we saw rich people buil a large mansion with a lot of rooms and beautiful finishes. off course if we can afford it than we will built one also. provided we believe that is what we need and that is what we want. and again ... if we can afford it.

it goes to apparels, accesories of watch, diamonds, gold, cars, motorbikes, big boys toys, food supplement, vitamin, less fat meals, fat suction, plastic surgery, botox and etc etc.

we thot the doctors practice a good life. but then again how many of them actually live to what they learned and know? do we know exactly the doctors avarage life compared to other professional, farmers, miners, tribesman, iceman and etc etc?

do we know that japanese live longer compared to other races in the world? and again why is that? because they eat raw food? or ist it because rice is the last thing in their course of meals and they ended up eating them less?

how many of us believe that red meat is bad? egg is bad? oil is bad?

how many of us believe that cholesterol is bad?

do we truly believe about the good and bad cholesterol?

how many of us can afford and did buy less fat and less cholesterol foods?

how many new study and working paper and forum that say the earlier findings is wrong or at err or contains some mistake and in-accuracy? have we ever read a new findings that say cholesterol is not really the cause of heart problem?

how many times do we heard a guy in early 40s or even late 3os just collapsed and die out of suddenth due to heart attack? they are actively exercise and some collapse while exercising. do we know the percentage of fatal rate on heart disease ? do we know that fatal attack often happens at the early stage of heart disease?

we live as what we want. doesnt matter how much people told us to, if we don't trust and believe them, if we don't have the means and will to do them, we ended up as doing what we normally do.

as the wisemen say ... i can only tell u what to do. it is up to u whether u want to do it or not. it is ur life.

:D

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New Diet ...

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"the only thing that we own is our body" .... so we must take care of it. tho we get our body free ... doesnt mean we can abuse it.

"we have absolute power of putting any kind of foods into our mouth" decide wisely.

with the above words of wisdom uttered by the nutritionist expert, i am starting a new diet. since last Friday actually. the rule of thumb at the moment is am trying not to take any rice or grains and that include bread and yang sama waktu dengan nya. so far so good ... tho i felt hungry yesterday.

the new diet am practicing now is called 'cavemen diet'. basically eating the food labelled as can be eaten without cook and avoid those food labelled as cannot be eaten which is "MUST" be cooked before it can be consumed. grains fall into the latter category.

the rule is grains are the major source of sugar intake which is actually causing harm to the body. or in short define as bad carbo. healthy carbo are primarily fruits.

as i am still new on this thing i need to do some study on it especially what else can be categorized as the healthy carbo.

perhaps when i have the time i will write in detail about the matter including the said expert who selfly claimed he prescribed the diet for Tun Mahathir and his Mrs as well.

i definitely lost weight after a month of fasting but i don't want to check how much i have lost. i plan to do it in a few days to come to see whether the lost weight can still be maintained after raya as well.

so far so good. looks like i have to cook my own meal oso.

lets see whether i cud get a new waist of 29 in one month to come :D

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Raya PlayList.

apart from the surah2 lazim that i played in my office during the whole month of ramadhan, the following are the songs that i upload onto my PDA a week before raya and played wherever and whenever i can :-

1. James Blunt - Wisemen
2. James Blunt - High
3. Khairil Johari Johar - Sepasang Kurung Biru
4. Berhenti Berharap
5. Broery Marantika - Setulus Cinta
6. Anuar Zain - Mungkin
7. Anuar Zain - Jangan Bersedih Lagi
8. Bloodshed - Tangisan Salju Di Khatulistiwa
9. Zamfir - The Lonely Sheperd
10. Meiko Kaji - The Flower of Carnage
11. Christina Millian feat. Young J - Say I
12. Rihanna - Unfaithful

Perhaps now is time to play those gothic songs again ..

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Selamat Ari Raya.

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"Slamat Hari Raya Fitrah
Mudah-mudahan segala amalan
Diterima dan di redhai Allah"

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When I See You Cry ...

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adam was created. alone he was in heaven. within the beautiful and perfect world of heaven his soul is not at peace. lonely. then God created eve to accompany him. coupled they are happy. but still not enuff with what they have until they did the forbidden thing and punished descended to earth.

there are a lot of things to be learned from it. man needs woman. woman is for man. together they may do wonders or may become scoundrel. name it. take it as what you want. turn it. twisted it. it all is up to you.

i just wondering whether is it really a sin when one divulge his loneliness? is it really his fault when he appear to have everything but all he feel is alone and lonely? is it too much to ask for a soulmate to accompany him to share everything and talk on verything without any fear, any shame, lies or reservation?

then why he is continue to talk to no one but himself? all he see is his loneliness and his own tears in the mirror ...

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Deja Vu

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i can't get enuff sleep during this fasting month. during the day it is very much easy for me to just close my eyes and drift to the slumber land, fast asleep. doesnt matter what time is it. but it is different story at nites. i just cant sleep. doesnt matter how long i close my eyes. doesnt matter how early or how late i go to sleep. whether with full stomach or with hungry stomach. with a fresh body or tired body. i just cant sleep at nite.

the trouble is when i am stayed awake tryng very hard to get my sleep, the bad thinking will swamp my brain. out of nothing all the negative thot will occupy my minds. and it still occupy my minds when i wake up.

isn't it bad to start a day with all the negative thinking and bad faith in our head?

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Wait Until Your Turn ...

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a husband went to check in with his girlfriend into an established hotel. unknown to him they were spotted by his sister in law. a plot then was planned between his sister in law, his wife and a common friend of husband and wife to catch him with his girlfriend.

by 3.00 am, they managed to locate his hotel room and atacked upon him and his girlfriend. they launched and mauled into the halpless couple who have been weakened by guilts. they were verbally and physically abused but his girlfriend suferred the worst. especially by the sister in law and their friend couple. the wife mostly crying and wailing.

at one look, the sinned couple perhaps need to be treated as such for not respecting the month of ramadhan. but lets take a second look into the whole scenario.

the sister in law is no angel. sin and adultery is not her enemy but close friend. she has underwent plastic surgery to make her beautiful face became celebrity face. thus she managed to land a sugar daddy and drive a bimmer. still she doesnt stop just at that. naturally.

as to their common friend of husband and wife. the husband used to be wild and playboy during his youngster. sleeping with bohsia is common for him. he was not a changed man after he get married. his flirtous behaviour has in fact made his marriage broken. within a couple of years of marriage he has divorced his wife three times. if the number allowed is ten times he could even have striked that number. now he is a bit metldown and showing sign of going to the right path. but with the last affair was a year ago and still living with his ex-wife things are not so rosy. he just cant let her ex-wife go.

after few years of turbulence life and physically abused by ex husband, she finally rebelled against him. by the help of mediums off course and beautician. she transformed her self from plum into less plum and attractive woman. from various of mediums that she frequented to she get her motivation. dating with other guys is her new fond game. but after a lot of failed relationships she kinda stop from that activity. not before she slept with other guy. not before her ex-husband fulfilled her wishes including bought her few cars, hand phone etc etc.

let just stop at those three characters. they are just the extra on the set really. but yet they act and play a very active roles. far beyond what they should do. what they did are horribly wrong. they inflicted the punishment on the other's mistake of which they were/are also committing the same mistake. wait until their turn to get caught and see what will happen ...

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Tell Me Why?

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u got a friend who is in difficult position. morale is down. broke. lonely. jobless. etc etc ... being a friend u just trying ur best to be there for her/him. giving a word of comfort. giving a word of motivating. giving a word of advise. in silence, everyday, u even pray for her/him to have a much better life and get whatever she/he wish for.

the day when she/he got a job, she/he didn't even bother to say thanks to you. the day she/he got her'his first salary, she/he didn't even bother to buy u teh tarik. not a single sign of grateful and appreciation was shown.

tho u r ok with it as u r not and never expect anything in return, it did make u thinking why? why u r being treated as that? the following might be the reasons :-

a) she/he is the type who doesn't know to say thanks. ignorance is a bliss?
b) she/he is very shy indeed to say thanks. jenis pemalu yang amat ini.
c) u dirty old maggot! ur contribution is peanuts and perhaps nothing to be thankful for.
d) there are other or others who have given much bigger support and assistance and even money to her/him. she/he got to thank that Sainto first! u alredi know she/he didnt talk to you alone. u even noticed that her/his call credit was not utilised and finished on u!!!
e) u said u r not expecting anything in return then y bother? idiot!

as for myself i choose (e). it make my life easy and simple!

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Have You Ever ..?

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have you ever wanted something so much that u are willing to do anything to get it? but at the end when u had that something in your hand suddenly it appear to be as not what you expected. not as exciting. not as fulfilling. not as satisfying. then the frustrating creep in.

what will u do then?

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alahai ....

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sedey nyer tgk kete Mat Sumatke terbabor ari tu. tambah sedey lagi tengok muka Mat Sumatke. senyum jek dier. even masa dia salam-salam ngan krew-krew ferrari kat pit... senyun jek dier. memasing muka blank jek ...

as he himself put it " the title race is as gud as over. to go into the next race and hoping for the other guy not tp finish the race is not the way it shud be"

too bad he got the engine failure. too bad it happen at the most critical time after so long he has not experience it.

but god know what will happen at interlagos. anything not finish yet until u cross the finish line!

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Demi Masa .. ngomel skit.

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and i tot bila gi meeting jek bebudak opis ni dtg lambat jek selalu ... rupa2 nya kat luar pun sama jek.

for teraweh i have been to few places either to surau yg baru bukak, an old mosque kat kampung or normal type surau. surprisingly ... all of them share one basic issue; have to wait for the imam or tunggu jema'ah ramai skit baru la nak semayang jemaah. well ... that kinda give the true picture of our moslem community's priority nowadays including myself.

here are some scenarios :-

a. imam pun lambat
b. makmum2 pun lagi la lambat
c. ajk pun lambat. nak power-up mic pun tak bleh. anak den pun komplen pesal memula semayang tu senyappppp jek ...
d. yang jadik muaazin, bilal, imam banyak yg dah tua sesangat. terketar2 suara depa ni .... bacaan lepas teraweh tu pun selow motion jek. haru ..

teringat masa den blaja dulu. ustaz tader pun bebudak tu bleh bawak semayang jemaah tu sendrik. cukup sumernya segala rukun dgn yg sunat untuk isya', teraweh ngan witir cuma tazkirah yg ustaz slalu buat jek tader. bukan apa, bebudak muder tak elok bagi tazkirah. kang terlebeh semangat tersuwuh lak memberontak sama pemerentah sekulah dan kerajaan. haru biru nanti.

makna kata cukup waktu jek terus azan. then semayang sunat. then terus semayang fardhu tu. then terus menerus la mengikut program aktibitinya. tader nak bazir masa untuk tunggu sesaper. otomatik jek sumer. tader nak bazir masa lima minit ke...1o minit ke...stengah jam ke. dulik apa imam ada pangkat dato' ke ... tahfiz ke ... ajk di lantik dan di iktiraf jabatan agama ke... kalo lambat nun semayang kat blakang jadik makmum masbuq. imam n ajk pun lambat apatah lagi makmum2 yg biasa tu kan? kan... kan?

demi masa! .....

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Demi Masa ...

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"Demi Masa. Manusia sentiasa dalam rugi ... "

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time does fly ...

today is friday. tomorrow is saturday and it gonna be 14th day of fasting. how quick it has been. surau-surau pun dah tinggal separuh jemaah nya untuk tarawih.

i am looking forward for this couple of weekends as it gonna be the penultimate rounds of F1. can't wait to witness Mat Sumatke to clinch record 8th times champion. can't wait to see the sore faces of alonso and briatore. i predicted alonso will register DNF for this weekend and Mat Sumatke wud be able to clinch the championship without having to wait for Brazil GP.

as for fasting and ramadhan, so far is ok. but berlobang sana-sini. banyak amal tak cukup, compang camping. semayang lima waktu ada tinggal. tadarus pun tader buat. poser pun manyak tinggal lapar & dahaga je kut. got to improve ni. am hoping to poser sunat 6 on the first week after raya. target baru ni.

on the budget ... manage to restrain myself at bazar ramadhan. but somehow still can't save as what i expected. ada jer mender kene beli. sabo je lah.

few things i plan to do during this 2 weeks. hopefully i can do them fast. as time dah strat flying. meja ni dah berkurun tak berkemas. tader rupa meja dah. tempat keja pun tak srupa tempat keje dah ....

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Mimpi.

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aku petik patah-patah perkataan
aku susun menjadi baris-baris ayat
aku karangkan bait-bait puisi
aku syairkan berulang-ulang kali
cuba berlagu dan berlibur
namun mimpi yang pulang
terus menjadi igauan.

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Musim Tengkujuh Di Hati.

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air mata yang gugur
bagai tak tertahan
perlahan-lahan
menjadi lautan duka
hanyut, karam dan lemas
gerhana untuk semusim lagi
untuk berapa lama kali ini?

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Terasing Sendiri.

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ku damba kehadiran rembulan
ku gapai labuhnya tirai malam
ku dakap tubuh ku lena bermimpi
di situlah aku menangis hiba
hati merintih pedihnya kecewa
terpendam tak siapa tahu atau peduli.

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